Hogwarts Host Club
by The Violent Tomboy
Summary: semiAU. Hogwarts will never be quite the same with these seven incredibly handsome transfer students from Ouran who plan on setting up a new, rather unique club. Randomness, plotlessness, and just plain general silliness break out.
1. On the Express

New story, yeah! I've been toying with this idea for ages. What if the Host Club was in Hogwarts? Chaos, randomness, and plenty of other crack is needed in times when everyone is angst-ing.

This will be AU, set in the sixth year, and the Host Club are magic-users. Just to let you know, there is NO PLOT. Just scenes of what it'll be like with the Host Club in Hogwarts, all of them silly. You know, them taking classes, a typical day on the job, individual scenes of the members being hounded by admirers or haters...

* * *

Kyouya wished that they didn't need to use such a public form of transportation (there were commoners in here), but there was a very strict rule that all students had to arrive at Hogwarts via the Hogwarts Express.

Even with all the special arrangements he managed to do beforehand, he wasn't able to do anything about this one, unfortunately.

On the plus side, he had his laptop upgraded so that it wouldn't be affected the excess magic in the air. He didn't know if he could survive without it.

Ouran Academy, in fact, had classes for instructing magic to those who had potential. Not everyone in the academy had magic, of course, but those who did were taught without the knowledge of the non-magical students. Because the Host Club members all had the highest grades, were known to be extremely capable students, and were all wizards (well, there's a witch in the group too, but no one knew that), they were chosen for a transfer program to Hogwarts.

The Host club had to have magical powers. Where'd you think the swirling roses constantly came from? Strange the muggle customers never figured it out…

In one of the train's apartments, Kyouya was typing on his laptop, Honey had purchased half of the sweets from the food trolley (he would've bought the whole thing but the lady insisted that others needed to eat, although she nearly caved in to Honey's unmatched adorableness) and was eating a Pumpkin Pastry under Mori's watchful eye, and the twins were flirting with Haruhi, causing Tamaki to wail out as loudly as he could.

"Oh yes, Tamaki. I know that you have plans to set the Host Club at Hogwarts, yes?" Kyouya said, looking up from his computer.

Tamaki stopped screaming about his daughter being defiled and immediately flashed a smile. "In such dark times as these, we must spread joy! Bringing the Host Club to Hogwarts is a must!"

"Yes, but don't forget, not everyone in Hogwarts can afford our prices. However, with the house elves providing cakes for Honey-senpai, we will save a lot of money and lowering the prices will not be such a big problem," Kyouya said, adjusting his glasses with a slender finger. "And Haruhi, I fixed the papers so that you will be going as a male student. Any confirmation that you are indeed a girl will cause your debt to triple, and I'll figure out a way for you to pay us back even if you're no longer a Host."

Haruhi sighed as she smoothed out her robes. One problem was that the Hogwarts uniform was the same for both girls and boys, and more than ever there would be confusion regarding her gender.

"But the dormitories are separated by gender, Kyouya-senpai," Haruhi pointed out. "My house will know that I'm a girl."

"Don't worry. I'll handle everything," Kyouya said, giving his infamous smile that everyone knew foreboded something evil and/or dangerous. Everyone pitied whatever house Haruhi was put in. They really did.

* * *

Next, the sorting!


	2. Sorting

After the final first-year was sorted and Harry somewhat calmed down after hearing Snape was indeed going to be the Defense Against Dark Arts teacher, Professor Dumbledore continued to give out one last announcement.

"And finally, I am pleased to welcome our transfer students, hailing from Ouran Academy in Japan."

A swirl of rose petals flew from the door before seven boys strode through them. The blonde in front expertly ran his fingers through his hair and flicked his head to the side. The effect was immediate. Every male jammed his fingers into his ears as every female squealed at glass-shattering pitches.

Even the female teachers were dumbstruck.

McGonagall was _blushing_.

Harry rubbed his eyes to make sure that he wasn't seeing things.

"OH MY GOD! I never thought I'd see such handsome guys in a group before!"

"I hope _all _of them get sorted into our house!"

"Check out the blonde one! He's the most gorgeous!"

"No way! The black-haired one wearing glasses is way better!"

"Where are the roses coming from?"

"Bloody hell, the Weasly twins are ba-OW!"

"Those aren't the Weasly twins, you idiot! They don't have freckles!"

"What's up with the midget? He doesn't look old enough to be a first year."

"Awe, who cares? He's so adorable! Especially with the stuffed rabbit!"

"Wow, that tall guy looks kind of scary."

"But check out how he's holding the little guy's hand! He must be one of those gentle giants!"

"Oh, the girl's really cute."

"Are you gay? That's a guy! There's no way a girl can have such a flat chest! And his hair is too short!"

"Are you sure? Looks pretty feminine to me. What do you think?"

"A feminine guy definitely."

"They're probably nothing but a bunch of brainless pretty boys," Ron huffed.

"What's Ouran like?" Harry asked Hermione. Hermione managed to catch her breath from staring at the transfers too long.

"Ouran's an especially esteemed school that teaches both wizards and Muggles without the Muggles knowing. But the most prominent thing about the academy is that only the extremely wealthy can afford to attend there. The uniform alone costs over an average person's monthly wages."

"Great," Ron groaned. "_Rich _pretty boys."

"When I call out your name and year, please come to the Sorting Hat so you may be placed in your house," Professor McGonagall called out as she took out a new scroll. "Fifth year, Fujioka, Haruhi!"

Haruhi slipped on the hat and heard a small voice. _So you're really a girl but posing as a guy, huh? Quite a bit of insanity has gone through your life ever since you went into the Music Room. But nothing you didn't need. I'm quite serious. Now let's see. You've got a good heart, a bit headstrong, tending to rush blindly into a situation, and a very hard worker. Very studious as well. What's better for you, Gryffindor or Ravenclaw? Hm…oh, so that's what you want. Alright, so it's "_RAVENCLAW!"

There was a lot of cheering and a few squeals of "Yes! We got that one!" Haruhi took her seat.

"Seventh year, Haninozuka, Mitsukuni!"

As Honey went up, there were a lot of whispers going, "A _seventh _year?" "Is he some kind of a genius?" "But he's so tiny!" "Has to be a genius. No way a real seventeen year old would carry a stuffed rabbit."

Honey put the hat on and it slipped past his eyes. _So you're really seventeen but you insist on acting like a five year old. Hm, I can't see much in your mind except of cake, candy, and rabbits. Now then…dum dee dum, so you're really a super martial artist, dum dee dum, yes, you'll do fine there, and he'll fit in there too. _"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"We got the cute one! Alright!"

"Fifth year, Hitachiin, Hikaru!"

_Another set of redhead twins, and nearly as mischievous. Too bad for Filch, that poor sap. Well, quite the teaser here. Ah, you're also a stubborn one. Bit insecure as well, but a good guy nevertheless. I think you belong in _"GRYFFINDOR!"

"Fifth year, Hitachiin, Kaoru!"

_So you're the smart one. Nearly as mischievous as your twin, but considerably more…considerate. Well, you want to be with your brother, right? So it's obviously _"GRYFFINDOR!"

Clapping and cheering as Kaoru took his place next to his brother.

"Awe man, looks like we got Fred and George back."

"But better looking ones!"

"I hope they're not like the twins," Ron shuddered.

"Seventh year, Morinozuka, Takeshi!"

_This is a no brainer, you're definitely sticking with your cousin. _"HUFFLEPUFF!"

"Yay Takeshi!" Honey cheered with the rest of the Hufflepuffs, and the girls were cheering pretty loud as well. "We got two! We got two!"

"Sixth year, Outori, Kyouya!"

_Well, here's another easy one. But you know, don't you think you're being a bit harsh with that girl? And do you really think it's necessary to do that to the Ravenclaws? Those poor things. They shouldn't suffer for that…Well, yes, I know it's not really my business…fine, I'll shut up. _"SLYTHERIN!"

Kyouya went and sat across from Malfoy, who looked quite interested in him (not that way, yaoi fans).

"Sixth year, Suou, Tamaki!"

Tamaki put the hat on. _Hm, hard to say where you should go. Rather on the stupid side here when it comes to common sense, but you're a good person who tries to help everyone, even if your plans are incredibly extreme and don't tend to work out that well. Well-educated, kind, loyal to your friends, quite brave as well. I think you'd be well in any house really, no, you're not going to Ravenclaw though, Fujioka specifically asked not to be put as the same house as you, said something about you being too big of a distraction, _(Tamaki screamed out loud and sobbed into his arms, crying out how daddy's heart was breaking, startling many people) _and I think your idiocy earns you a place in _"GRYFFINDOR!"

"May the feast begin!" Dumbledore said.

The plates were immediately filled with good food, causing Haruhi to go giddy with happiness and completely miss the whining puppy-eye look Tamaki was giving her.


	3. Common Rooms

The chaos that followed the Host Club became evident the very next day, during breakfast in the Great Hall.

A banana peel had appeared out of _nowhere_, causing Malfoy to trip and crash into Harry, and both of them fell to the ground in a position that would make witnesses believe the two had an intimate and open relationship had not it be a well-known fact that the two hated each other's guts.

Before the two could get up and begin with the generic insults, what seemed to be an earthquake started, and ominous laughter echoed out into the room. Everyone was frozen in shock and fear.

Being frozen in shock and fear is not what you want to do when it looks like you're gay lovers with your most hated enemy.

The members of the Host Club were in various modes of disbelief and exasperation, and Haruhi shook her head, saying, "We should have known…"

A girl rose out of the ground on a revolving platform, laughing like a maniac. She was certainly strange, and her outfit stranger: a red sleeveless zip up top, a white miniskirt over tight black shorts, black gloves, high brown boots, and a pink ribbon worn like a hair band.

"Oh, the sweet love between two rivals!" the girl cried out, clasping her hands together in joy, her eyes glittering. "Though the other represents what they hate, though they claim to despise the other being alive, deep inside, the love and obsession is so powerful! They will try so hard to keep it in them for so long, being in denial, succumbing to peer pressure, but soon all will crack and their true feelings will be known. Oh the sweetest forbidden boy love of all, next to the love between two identical twin brothers!"

Everyone's jaw was dropping. Malfoy and Harry were now frozen in shock and WTF-ness.

"Renge-kun, what are you doing here?" Kyouya asked.

"Kyouya-kun!" she said happily. "I had to see how Ouran's beloved Host Club was doing, seeing how you would all be gone so long, and now the moe-ness back at the school is at an all time low. So I came to find inspiration for the Ouran Moe Moe Journal!"

Pulling out her doujinshi proudly as if it were a prize winner, she beamed at everyone.

"Did you have to come?" Hikaru said grumpily. "And why are you wearing another one of your freaky cosplay again?"

"Don't insult my cosplay!" Renge screamed, pulling out a throwing knife out of the holster strapped to her thigh. Fortunately, her aim and skill weren't exactly great and the knife ended up in someone's porridge. "Humph! See you later, and I'll come visit again! I _know _that I'll find something worth while here to share back home!"

And with that, she laughed as the platform sunk back into the ground as if it was never there.

"Blimey hell…" someone said out loud.

Harry and Malfoy finally got up, refusing to look at each other.

"Otaku freak," Kaoru muttered.

"Who _was _she?" Ron asked.

"An otaku freak," Kaoru repeated. "Things are going to be so much more annoying with her popping up here. Hm, so she can appear in a different country on that thing…"

Malfoy was clearly turning his back on Harry. "Potter, if for one moment that you think-"

"Let's just pretend this never happened," Harry interrupted, holding out his hand. "Truce?"

Malfoy contemplated for a moment, and turned around to shake it. "Tru-"

Another banana peel appeared.

* * *

10 non-existant points to anyone who knows who Renge was cosplaying...although I don't think it's so hard to figure out.


	4. Renge

The chaos that followed the Host Club became evident the very next day, during breakfast in the Great Hall.

A banana peel had appeared out of _nowhere_, causing Malfoy to trip and crash into Harry, and both of them fell to the ground in a position that would make witnesses believe the two had an intimate and open relationship had not it be a well-known fact that the two hated each other's guts.

Before the two could get up and begin with the generic insults, what seemed to be an earthquake started, and ominous laughter echoed out into the room. Everyone was frozen in shock and fear.

Being frozen in shock and fear is not what you want to do when it looks like you're gay lovers with your most hated enemy.

The members of the Host Club were in various modes of disbelief and exasperation, and Haruhi shook her head, saying, "We should have known…"

A girl rose out of the ground on a revolving platform, laughing like a maniac. She was certainly strange, and her outfit stranger: a red sleeveless zip up top, a white miniskirt over tight black shorts, black gloves, high brown boots, and a pink ribbon worn like a hair band.

"Oh, the sweet love between two rivals!" the girl cried out, clasping her hands together in joy, her eyes glittering. "Though the other represents what they hate, though they claim to despise the other being alive, deep inside, the love and obsession is so powerful! They will try so hard to keep it in them for so long, being in denial, succumbing to peer pressure, but soon all will crack and their true feelings will be known. Oh the sweetest forbidden boy love of all, next to the love between two identical twin brothers!"

Everyone's jaw was dropping. Malfoy and Harry were now frozen in shock and WTF-ness.

"Renge-kun, what are you doing here?" Kyouya asked.

"Kyouya-kun!" she said happily. "I had to see how Ouran's beloved Host Club was doing, seeing how you would all be gone so long, and now the moe-ness back at the school is at an all time low. So I came to find inspiration for the Ouran Moe Moe Journal!"

Pulling out her doujinshi proudly as if it were a prize winner, she beamed at everyone.

"Did you have to come?" Hikaru said grumpily. "And why are you wearing another one of your freaky cosplay again?"

"Don't insult my cosplay!" Renge screamed, pulling out a throwing knife out of the holster strapped to her thigh. Fortunately, her aim and skill weren't exactly great and the knife ended up in someone's porridge. "Humph! See you later, and I'll come visit again! I _know _that I'll find something worth while here to share back home!"

And with that, she laughed as the platform sunk back into the ground as if it was never there.

"Blimey hell…" someone said out loud.

Harry and Malfoy finally got up, refusing to look at each other.

"Otaku freak," Kaoru muttered.

"Who _was _she?" Ron asked.

"An otaku freak," Kaoru repeated. "Things are going to be so much more annoying with her popping up here. Hm, so she can appear in a different country on that thing…"

Malfoy was clearly turning his back on Harry. "Potter, if for one moment that you think-"

"Let's just pretend this never happened," Harry interrupted, holding out his hand. "Truce?"

Malfoy contemplated for a moment, and turned around to shake it. "Tru-"

Another banana peel appeared.

* * *

10 non-existant points to anyone who knows who Renge was cosplaying...although I don't think it's so hard to figure out.


	5. Now Open

The sign next to the door read in elegant pink letters, "The Host Club is now open. Fifth years and older only."

Quite often, the younger girls would crown around the door, wishing that they were older, and hopefully trying to get a whiff of roses.

The club had been met with some disdain at first (mostly by the male students), but it certainly had become quite popular. Meeting every Saturday afternoon, the Hosts would charm the girls that came. There was an unofficial rule not to designate the ones who were already in your House, as you already saw them often anyway and no fair hogging, but no one really minded. That was a waste of money and time anyway.

It had already been three weeks since the Host Club started. The first one was simple, just designate a host and get entertained over cake and tea, the second one involved old Western American cowboy cosplay (Hikaru and Kaoru graciously reenacted a scene from the Muggle movie _Brokeback Mountain_), and today Tamaki was doing all the honors of entertaining everyone himself, as he was going to play the piano for them.

Kyouya sat back, enjoying the flow of the music. Tamaki was certainly something when he was playing. His deft fingers over the keys, eyes closed, a faint but genuine smile tugging at his lips, the way he seemed to rock back and forth just right to the music…he seemed to be the music himself. His playing was magic (but not really in the wizard sense), and everyone was under its spell. Even several ghosts were there, floating above the audience's heads and enthralled as everyone else. Peeves had been planning to wreck today's meeting by pelting water balloons at everyone, but after listening to Tamaki, he had forgotten everything. He didn't even notice that the balloons slipped from his arms and dropped on somebody's head. That somebody didn't notice either when she was dripping wet.

Renge had insisted on picking the song (from an anime OST of course), and Kyouya had to admit that she had made a wise selection. _A Song of Storm and Fire _was certainly a powerful and moving instrumental, and Tamaki's playing made it twice as so.

When the song was over, Tamaki gracefully stood up and bowed. Everyone released the breaths that they were holding when they were in awe, and they all clapped enthusiastically, some even crying.

The moment was ruined when Hannah Abbott fell over to the ground, unconscious with a blue face. Apparently, she had been holding her breath for so long that she just stopped breathing.

Before anybody could react, Mori was there, holding her up with his arms around her, and squeezed until she was breathing again.

"That was amazing, Lord. Your piano playing skills are so good you nearly killed someone," Hikaru remarked as Hannah thanked Mori through her gasps. Tamaki went to sulk and sob in a corner.

As the girls and ghosts left the room and the Hosts were by themselves, Haruhi went over to Kyouya, a slightly annoyed frown gracing her features. "Senpai, are you threatening my House?"

The light glinted off of Kyouya's glasses in such a fashion that his eyes couldn't be seen, and he wore such a charming smile that anyone know truly knew him knew that the smile _really _meant, "Muhahaha! Don't mess with me, bitches!"

Haruhi shuddered for a moment before she recollected herself and gave her best intimidating look. Not that she was really the intimidating type, and not that _he_ was really the intimidated type…

"The other Ravenclaws are really jumpy around me, and it's even worse when they're around you. You haven't been threatening them to keep my gender a secret, have you Senpai?"

Kyouya's smile was unflinching. "I prefer the term _persuasion_."

Haruhi huffed and folded her arms across her flat chest. "I really don't mind of anyone knew I was a girl. I wish you wouldn't harass the others."

"A thousand yen added to your debt every time you complain, starting now," Kyouya said. "Be grateful I won't count this time."

Haruhi slowly backed away and went out the door, the dread etched onto her face very clearly.


	6. Kicking Ass

In case anyone's interested, _A Song of Storm and Fire _is from the anime _Tsubasa Chronicle_, Syaoran's theme. Personal opinion, manga rocks my socks, anime sucks balls, but the music is incredible. And yes, of course, Renge was cosplaying Haruno Sakura from Part II of _Naruto_. Take as many points as you want, not that it'll be worth anything in your life.

Hm, this chapter is slightly more serious and action-y, but still should be enjoyable to read. I love Honey and Mori so much, especially when they kick ass.

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Honey was excited about visiting Hogsmeade. He was practically skipping around with Usa-chan in his arms as he headed for the exit, Mori faithfully by his side.

"I hear that there's a really nice sweet shop called Honeyduke's…it kind of sounds like my name-"

"_Accio bunny!"_

"USA-CHAN!"

Amazing. Crabbe possessed enough brain power to perform the Summoning Charm. He grunted stupidly as he held the bunny's ears in a fat fist, apparently proud of himself.

"Give me back Usa-chan!" Honey cried out, tears threatening to leak out of humungous eyes. Crabbe laughed and held the rabbit at a height he though Honey wouldn't be able to reach.

"Give. Me. Back. Usa-chan." Honey's head was bent so that his bangs covered his eyes, and for some reason, his voice sounded _really _different…

"Crabbe-san, if you don't want your innards to be tied in an elaborate French knot, I do recommend to return Honey-senpai's rabbit back to him," Kyouya said in his usual clipped, polite tone.

Crabbe flinched when he saw Outori. Even he knew not to mess with the Outori, and he reluctantly dropped Usa-chan on the ground.

Of course, Crabbe thought that it was either the private Outori police force that was going to kill him, or maybe even Mori. He couldn't imagine the real meaning in Kyouya's words.

Nobody really, until later that day…

00000000000000000000000000000

There was a dementor attack in Hogsmeade.

People cried out in terror as the Dark creatures ran havoc in the village, their cold, chilling effects slowly but surely taking hold, as the screams quieted down into whimpers. Soon, it was all the people could do but to fall to the ground, sobbing as fear and their worst memories overwhelmed them, making them all the more easier to be kissed…

Harry swore. This weekend was so supposed to be an enjoyable break from his life, and this had to happen. Raising his wand into the air and fighting to concentrate on something happy, _"Expecto Patronum!"_

The silver stag bounded out from his wand and charged for the closest dementor. It chased off the creature for some distance before going after another one. Harry sighed in relief. Everything would be alright.

The sigh of relief quickly turned into a gasp of horror. The moment the stag went to the next dementor, the first one stopped fleeing and went after the same girl as before.

"NO!" Harry screamed, but before he could do anything else, something yanked him back by the collar.

"Patronuses are not effective against a large amount to Dementors in a tightly populated area," Mori said quietly, letting go. "Dismiss it."

"But what else is there?!" Harry demanded to know. "The Patronus is the only defense!"

"No. Hold Usa-chan for me," Honey replied, shoving the pink rabbit into Harrry's arms. For a moment, Harry couldn't believe it. Honey's voice had changed; it was deeper, colder so serious that it left no room for argument. And his eyes…sharp and glinting something dangerous. Harry felt as if he had no choice but to obey, and the stag disappeared.

With a dramatic flourish, their cloaks were off and their robes were open, revealing their sweater vests and slacks. Mori held a samurai sword that could _impossibly _have been hidden in his clothes, and Honey held out a small metal stick that extended into a Bo staff.

"Our way…is _so_ much more effective," Honey said softly, smirking as he twirled the staff easily. "Let's go, Takeshi."

"Right, Mitsukuni," his cousin replied, impassive as ever.

Harry wasn't sure if his eyes were playing tricks on him, but the two cousins were _glowing_. They seemed to give off a blue light from their bodies and weapons, and before he could fully make some sense of it all, the two charged straight into the fray.

"Are you nutters?!" Harry cried out, unconsciously tightening his grip around the rabbit. "You'll be-"

Honey and Mori didn't slow down for a moment as they ran their weapons into the dementors, and the Dark creatures exploded into dust in one hit.

"Wha-"

Mori just slashed one before charging towards the next, while Honey flipped around like an acrobat and hitting the dementors with his constantly twirling staff while he was still midair.

It was over before anybody could fully realize what was going on.

A gust of wind blew, playing with their hair and open robes, and blowing away the dust far, far away.

0000000000000000000000000000

Being called heroes didn't seem to do the two justice. Neither did awarding them a million points for Hufflepuff either. Dinner at Hogwarts was certainly chatty that night.

"Did you see that?"

"How'd they-"

"-just destroyed the dementors-"

"They didn't even get hurt-"

Kyouya delicately adjusted his glasses as Malfoy stared at the cousins as if they were something all together unworldly.

"The Haninozuka and Morinozuka family has been known for ages for their skills as martial artists," Kyouya said before taking a sip from his goblet. "One of their special techniques is integrating their energy into their weapons and body to greatly enhance their power."

When Malfoy's expression slowly turned wistful, Kyouya smirked himself. "And trust me, it won't do you much good if you attempt to get on their good side, especially after this morning's performance with your friend."

Malfoy glared at Crabbe, who was thanking whatever deity was out there than Honey didn't brutally slaughter him.

Harry went over to the Hufflepuff table, unable to wait any longer. "How did you do that?"

Honey looked up from his custard, a bit of the yellow stuff sticking to the corner of his mouth. "Do what?"

Honey was a kid again, none of that freaky maturity that seemed so wrong on his cherubic face. All sunshine and sweetness…

Harry took a deep breath. "The dementors. You were immune to them. How did you do it? You had to have felt the fear and your memories…"

Honey smiled, and his face blurred between the ages. Mori spoke up. "It comes down to two different disciplines. One is complete control over your emotions."

Okay, that took care of the fear part.

"And the next is to accept your past."

Harry looked confused.

"When things happen, people tend to lock those memories away. They'll forget about those moments, until it breaks free, and it'll be like reliving it all over again, the same pain and hurt. Instead, accept the past, acknowledge it happened, and it will make you stronger. So when it comes back up again, you will feel nothing, except the reminder of looking towards the future for better times to come."

Harry was dumbstruck, as was everybody else. This was the first time anybody heard Mori speak more then a sentence at one time.

Harry fidgeted slightly, then asked, "So what's that memory you guys have gotten over, if you don't mind me asking?"

Hopefully it wasn't _too_ personal a question, but they _did _say they were over their bad moments…

Everyone's breaths were hitched, as they all eagerly listened in, wondering what terrible tragic past the cousins could had have.

Honey was still in that hybrid kid/adult stage as he wore a distant, faraway expression.

"I failed keeping Mitsukuni from getting hurt," Mori said. Several pople cooed and thought how loyal and dedicated he was.

"That was the time I got a toothache," Honey said. "And I couldn't eat sweets for three days."

Everyone fell over.

Some people really had to get their priorities straight. Sure, accepting the past must have been as easy as pie if your worst experience in life was getting a mere _cavity_.

As Haruhi would say, "Damn rich bastards."


	7. Dress Up

Amazing, I updated.

I still got a few more ideas for this, although don't expect updates for awhile. Also, a lot of people have been asking about who Haruhi will be paired up with. My answer? Nobody and everybody. And when I mean nobody and everybody, I mean it. If I only focus Haruhi with one person, there will be some kind of plot going on, which defeats the point of the fic. Not to mention I don't want to alienate any fans out there. As with everyone, the rest of the Club will have the same feelings they have with her in canon, no more and no less. And the fact that there will be a whole lot of other people crushing on her, regardless of gender.

Which is what I'm going to have fun with in this chapter. On a massive scale. On the fun and crushes. So enjoy!

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Harry gloomily picked at his breakfast oatmeal. Slughorn's party was tonight, and he still hadn't found himself a date to go with him. Hermione, on the other hand, was going to go with Fujioka, the Ravenclaw transfer that she had befriended in the library. Fujioka turned out to be a kind, sincere person every bit as book-smart as Hermione, albeit without the know-it-all attitude. Despite that Fujioka was a year younger, he and Hermione both often did their Arithmancy and Study of Ancient Runes homework together, and the two were now on first name basis.

Unsurprisingly, all the transfers came to be among Slughorn's favorites. They were all rich, well-connected, and surprisingly brilliant in nearly all of their classes. Even though Fujioka was not anywhere as wealthy as the rest of them and could never even hope for it, his brains made up for the lack of cash. His skills with Potions were second to only Harry's (and Harry was cheating), and when asked how he did it, he would shrug and say how similar brewing a potion was to home-cooking.

When breakfast was over, Harry, Hermione, and Ron walked out of the Great Hall to see the Hitachiin twins both looping their arms around Fujioka's, preventing him from escaping, which he was obviously trying very hard to do.

"Ah! Please help me Hermione-chan!" Fujioka said desperately when she saw them.

Before Hermione could shriek at the twins for what looked like a kidnapping/gay sexual harassment, Suou came bursting out of the Hall, screaming rather shrilly. "What do you miscreant doppelgangers think you're doing to my precious daughter?!"

There were some rumors going around that Fujioka was really female, but the Ravenclaws weren't answering and the fact that Suou referred to him as his 'daughter'...then again, he also referred Outori as 'mother', and the Shadow King was most definitely male...

"Slughorn's party is tonight, and I doubt that Haruhi has anything decent to wear," chimed the twin on the right (Hikaru? Kaoru?). "So we got a whole bunch of our mother's designs over for Haruhi to try on!"

"Haruhi looks really cute all dressed up!" chimed the twin on the left (Kaoru? Hikaru?). "We brought dress robes, tuxedos, even evening gowns-"

The Golden Trio had their jaws dropping, and Tamaki blushed furiously.

"Why on earth would you have Haruhi crossdressing?!" Hermione cried out, not knowing the full extent of her words (if she only knew she was dating a girl...) "You can't possibly have Haruhi in a Muggle evening dress!"

"We already have done it before," Kaoru said smugly. "Complete with hair extensions. Haruhi came out so pretty."

Haruhi struggled harder in vain.

"Did you bring any kimono?" Tamaki squeaked out, pushing his fingertips together. The twins immediately pounced on the invitation.

"Kimono it is! This one is all yours!" Hikaru said cheerfully as he and his twin pushed their favorite toy towards the door that led to the side room, which opened to reveal two identical women dressed in blue maid uniforms.

"Welcome, Fujioka-sama," said the first one, smiling as she tilted her head to the side.

"Right this way," said the second as she mimicked the first one's actions. And with that, they seized their terrified victim and shut the door, where the other six people listened.

_"Please don't pull of my clothes like that!"_

Hermione squeaked.

"You know, maybe we should wear kimono, too," Kaoru said thoughtfully, tapping his chin.

_"What do you think of this one?"_

_"I'm not sure about the cherry blossom print..."_

Tamaki's nose started to leak out red. Harry started looking for the Nosebleed Nougat antidote in his pockets before the blond would pass out due to blood loss.

_"Or this?"_

_"Ah! That one has a slitted skirt!"_

"Merlin's beard, what are you_ doing_ to that poor bloke?!" Ron asked, wincing in horror.

_"This one is very cute."_

_"That one has a _mini_skirt!"_

_"How about this one?"_

_"How is that a kimono? It'll barely cover anything!"_

Tamaki fainted, a geyser of blood shooting out of his nose.

When Haruhi finally came out wearing a decent kimono (guy's, with narrow golden brown and black stripes and a chocolate brown obi, wait a second, was that a rain of gently scattered cherry blossom petals falling in the background, completely the image of such beauty?), everybody blushed, because Haruhi looked more good-looking but androgynous than ever, leaving Harry and Ron to question their sexual orientation. Let's remember how Britain is nowhere as open as Japan is when it comes to matters like these...(Japan sells used women's lingerie in street vending machines, it's true!)

One big problem that came up is that everybody in Hogwarts eventually saw Haruhi dressed up, due to the Creevey brothers taking pictures that circulated around the school. Everybody had to admit that Haruhi looked very appealing, regardless of gender, and only the Ravenclaws felt safe as only they knew (although some terrible fate would befall them if they told). The pictures the Creevy brothers took somehow got into the pages of _Witch Weekly_, where Haruhi's pictures received high ratings, eventually leading the magazine to feature entire spreads of the entire club. Where the photos came from, it turned out that a Muggle-born working for the magazine merely went to the Host Club's website and printed out a whole bunch of pictures. Kyouya made sure that he was being well paid to allow the photos to go into circulation. _Witch Weekly _found that subscription orders had multiplied by several times, reaching the highest point ever seen by a massive landslide.

And that's how the Host Club became famous throughout Britain, to be worshiped by women of all ages (and plenty of men in there as well, although, of course, closet fans. But BIG closet fans).

Oh boy. Things are about to get a _itty bit _more hectic.


	8. Valentine's Day

I really was trying to get this up in time for Valentine's Day, but one thing led to another, and this came out incredibly late. Oh well, Happy-it's-already-over-a-week-past-Valentine's Day!

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Ah, February fourteenth. Happy Single Awareness D-er, I mean, Valentine's Day.

(Yes, I mean you, all you depressed singles out there. Ha ha...)

Meeting up at the unused classroom that served as their clubroom, the Host Club members were exhausted. All day long, girls had been badgering them, showering them with chocolate, cards, and confessions. Kyouya had thoughtfully provided small pouches with Undetectable Extension Charms placed on them so that it would be easier to carry their gifts compactly instead of lugging massive sacks around for the whole day. Tamaki ran his fingers through his hair, slumped out on a chair. To nearly every girl he came across today, he had presented a red rose and a different Shakespeare-style sonnet, including all the female teachers. Many students were dumbstruck when they heard McGonagall giggling. Now Snape just had to actually wash his hair for once and the fall of mankind would be inevitable.

Their gifts, mostly chocolate, were now dumped on a cleared space on the floor, forming a massive mountain. Honey's eyes were wide with delight as he reached for a box.

"Mitsukuni, not yet," Mori warned him quietly. Honey pouted adorably, withdrawing his hand. A group of a dozen of the Hogwarts house-elves appeared in the room with a loud _crack!_, and Kyouya promptly gave them each what appeared to be some sort of hand-held scanner.

"Every year back home, same thing, and here too," Hikaru sighed out as he sat on a desk, rubbing the back of his head.

"Kind of annoying, really," Kaoru added, taking a seat by his twin's place.

"But completely necessary," Kyouya said, adjusting his glasses. Facing the elves, he said, "Please begin."

"Yes sir!" the elves squeaked out, pairing up with one another, forming six groups. In a systematic and orderly fashion, each elf pair took a place by the mountain. The first would reach into the pile and scan it with the machine before handing it to his partner. If the scanner produced an annoying beep, the second elf would take it to another pile. If not, he would bring it to the Host the gift was meant for.

"Wow," Haruhi said, watching the discard pile grow bigger and bigger while the pile next to her was a rather modest size. "That many people put love potion in our Valentine's Day chocolate?"

"What can we say? We're popular," Kaoru shrugged idly, picking up a package and opening it. He grinned slightly when he checked the card that went with it. "Not to mention some of these aren't even from other students."

"Kyouya, you're such a money whore," his twin said before Kaoru popped a truffle into Hikaru's mouth.

"I get a full fifty percent on all profits Witch Weekly makes on their features of us," Kyouya said with a smirk. An expensive looking tea set was on the teacher's desk, and he poured himself a cup of probably equally expensive tea to sip on.

Haruhi chose a card and read it. Sweet, a bit overdone, and the handwriting looked like a guy's. As a matter of fact, a majority of her safe pile looked like they were given from males, and those were signed 'anonymous'...poor people, terrified, thinking that they went homosexual and afraid to say it to the world...

At that moment, the door opened, Harry rushed in, shut the door, and fell to his knees, breathing heavily.

"Potter-kun?" Tamaki asked, getting up to greet him. "The Host Club is not open today, but I suppose one of us can entertain you as a special treat..."

Harry then realized where he was and clapped his hands over his mouth to prevent himself from letting out a groan of horror.

"Pot-chan, what's the matter?" Honey asked with a mouthful of chocolate, which Mori dutifully wiped with a handkerchief. Outside, a shrill voice could be heard, calling out Harry's name.

"So, did Romilda Vane finally decide to take a more direct approach?" Hikaru asked, recognizing the voice of one of Harry's own fan girls.

"She's been trying to hit me with immobilizing spells all day so she could force a love potion down my throat!" Harry burst out. "It was bad enough when she finally managed to Stun me and tried to pull me into a broom closet with her...if Hermione and Ginny weren't there to save me..."

No guy wants his virginity forcibly taken away from him by a girl. That's nearly as bad as being forcibly castrated.

Romilda began to bang on the other side of the door, yelling out, "Hey Harry, are you in there?! I swear, I look really sexy in black leather and a whip-"

Harry, clearly horrified, frantically waved at the Host Club members, silently begging them to save him.

Mori grabbed him, slung him over his shoulder, and shoved him underneath the teacher's desk. Not a moment to soon, the crazed fan girl came in, brandishing a wand in one hand and a pink bottle in the other. "Have you seen Harry?"

"No," everybody else replied.

"Merlin's beard, I have to find him," she muttered angrily as she stomped out the room, slamming the door behind her.

"Thanks a lot," Harry said, climbing up to his feet. As he placed a hand on the desk to support himself back on his feet, he pushed against the desk, sending the tea set tumbling to the floor. The china shards and spilled tea splatted on the ground in one big mess.

"Er, oops?"

The light glinted off of Kyouya's glasses. Everybody gulped when a decidedly evil-looking purple aura enveloped his body. The smile he wore wasn't helping.

Harry found himself more terrified than he had ever been in his life, including all his encounters with He-Whose-Name-Sounds-Like-A-Sneeze.

"That tea set was an antique handcrafted by a prominent artisan from France," Kyouya said quietly.

"Er, oops?" Harry repeated, slowly backing himself against the wall.

"Let's see," Kyouya said, pulling his laptop out of hammer space and holding it in one arm while his free hand was typing. "Seeing the current money exchange, conversion from yen to Galleons...hm...you now owe me a round sum of three hundred and fifty Galleons."

"I can pay that?" Harry said nervously, knowing that he had more than that amount in his savings, but still, that was a whole lot of money...

Kyouya looked a bit disappointed at Harry's words, but he quickly brightened up again (how can he be bright and dark at the same time? No idea, but he pulled it off).

"No matter, Potter-kun, you don't have to pay."

"I don't?" Harry asked.

"He doesn't?" the rest of the Host Club said in unison, looking confused. Since when did Kyouya be so generous?

"No," Kyouya said, smiling at him before turning to the only female in the room. "You do. I'm adding it to your debt."

Yup. Screw generosity.

_"What?!" _Haruhi cried out indignantly. Hikaru went over to Harry and poked him in the side.

"You'd better run now, you don't want to be involved anymore than you already are."

Harry didn't need to be told twice and ran off.

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A local newspaper took a survey on who actually like Valentine's Day, a simple "I love" or "I hate" poll. It came out surprisingly almost even. Valentine's Day is a terrible day. Never confess on Valentine's Day, folks. You'll be twice as depressed if you're turned down than if it was a normal day.

Good thing I've never been in love yet. Oh wait, is that a bad thing? Uh...


	9. Manga

One particularly slow day at the Host Club, Renge (to whom whose presence everybody still could get used to) rose out of the ground laughing maniacally, declaring that a _Fullmetal Alchemist_ theme was bound to bring in patrons by the hordes.

Noting the giant question mark that rose from everybody's heads, she then smacked herself in the head, remembering that it was very unlikely that anybody in Wizarding Britain even knew what _Fullmetal Alchemist_ was.

(Then again, neither did the Host Club members.)

She vowed to remedy this, and sunk back into the ground.

The question mark didn't leave with her.

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Nobody was quite sure how it happened, but by the end of the next week, conversations such as these were heard all around Hogwarts:

"Kind of weird, these Muggle-versions of wizards, totally off…"

"It's so _romantic _when they got together…"

"Can Muggles really fight like this?"

"Why do you think he's so cool? Sasuke's a bloody _prick_…"

"I wish I could write Snape's name in a Death Note…

Quite a few people went to Haruhi, knowing that (s)he was a Muggle-born, asking if Japanese Muggles were really as crazy as portrayed.

It was safe to say that nine out of ten Hogwarts students were interested in at least one manga series.

Renge was selling manga by the truckloads to the students of Hogwarts, and Kyouya was very happy as he was the one receiving the brunt of the profits. Renge wasn't doing it for the money; she was doing it to enrich the lives of the overworked students. Honestly, the library, though massive, only contained reference books that nobody in their right mind would read only for fun (except for Hermione, of course). Not to mention that there are only so many rounds of Exploding Snap and Gobstones one could play before getting fed up with sooty and slimy faces.

Nope, just simple, safe entertainment.

No, really!

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The next Host Club meeting actually did involve _Fullmetal Alchemist_ cosplay, and seeing how that particular series was among the most popular in school, the 'yay' factor was extremely high. The Creevy brothers somehow managed to get photos, and even the male students had to agree that the Host Club members looked pretty damn cool in the navy blue uniforms of the State Alchemists.

Well, except for Mori. He looked pretty retarded in suit of armor.

And of course, as Honey was a midget blonde, he was the star attraction.

Among the girls, Renge, dressed in her own Lust costume, was squealing the loudest, seeing him in a red trench coat and metal limbs.

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In the Gryffindor Common room…

"Harry, you really have to finish your Transfiguration essay, so can you put down that _Detergent _book?" Hermione asked, looking up from her own essay. "Honestly, it's unhealthy how everyone's been reading those lately."

"It's _Bleach_, not **_Detergent_**," Harry retorted, but he stowed the manga away into his bag. "Besides, I know you read some mushy romance one when you think no one's watching."

Hermione's cheeks pinked, causing Harry and Ron to grin, but she continued hotly, "You should put yours away too, Ron."

Ron's manga was obviously hidden in the textbook he was holding up.

"Which one is that?" Harry asked, craning his head, trying to get a better look. Ron's ears grew as red as his hair, a sure sign of embarrassment. Curious, Harry pulled away the textbook from him and plucked out the manga, earning himself a horrified sputter from Ron.

"Hm, _Love Hina_? Haven't heard of that one," Harry remarked, looking at the cover.

Ron made a desperate grab for the book, but Harry held it away from him and quickly thumbed through the pages.

His eyes grew wide and a furious blush spread across his face.

"Let me see," Hermione said, taking the book. Her jaw dropped. _**"RON!"**_

Nobody was quite sure when the Hiitachin twins were suddenly behind her, looking at the pages along side of her. Hikaru whistled.

"Wonder how your mother would react of she knew you were reading these kinds of things, Weasley-senpai," he remarked.

"Every other page has something _pretty_ perverted in it," Kaoru added, noting an image of several very beautiful, very naked girls taking an open-air bath.

Ron managed to snatch back the book back. "Sh-shut up! I bet there's other people that read stuff like this too!"

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Professor Dumbledore, safe in the confines of his office, opened a desk drawer and looked through his extensive shonen-ai and yaoi manga collection.


	10. Makeover

Man, it's been awhile. Hope you guys don't mind I haven't updated in a couple of months (hee hee).

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In the Gryffindor common room, Hermione was putting up the finishing touches to a particularly nasty Charms essay that even she found difficult, but she was finding it hard to concentrate over Katie Bell's giggling. The Chaser was swooning as she was in the company of the prince of the Host Club, Tamaki.

Hermione's lip curled. While she was indeed good friends with Haruhi, she never approved of the Host Club as a whole, deeming it a waste of precious time. (Of course, when she mentioned this to Harry and Ron, the redhead let out a cough that sounded suspiciously like "_Lockheart_".)

And further more, she considered Tamaki, with his flamboyant ways, to be the biggest idiot she had ever met. And her best friends were Harry and Ron. If his common sense was to be converted into electricity, it wouldn't be enough to power a light bulb.

Unfortunately, as she racked her head to figure out an acceptable conclusion for her essay, Tamaki's own Charms essay mocked her from across the desk. Tamaki's essay with its beautiful, flowing handwriting. Tamaki's essay with its long-since-dried ink. Tamaki's essay with its half-a-foot longer than the required minimum. Tamaki's essay with its brilliant execution that she had gaped at when she had snuck a peek. Yes, Tamaki's essay was mocking her all right, and rather cruelly.

Ha ha, it seemed to say. An idiot wrote me. Bet you can't do better.

If Tamaki's common sense couldn't power a light bulb, then his school smarts would be enough to power up a good portion of the European continent. And Hermione, as much as she wanted to hurl at the thought, knew it well.

It had taken her a relatively short amount of time to figure out that Outori Kyouya, the Slytherin transfer who happened to be in her year, was a far more brilliant student than her. (The Slytherins had been practically performing jigs when they found out that there was someone in their house that could beat the know-it-all Hermione. Of course, they had stopped when Hermione had finally cracked and cursed them all into the hospital wing and their own house genius wouldn't be bothered to step in to save them.) Unlike Tamaki, though, this was far easier to accept. After all, Kyouya wasn't prone to random acts of stupidity, not to mention that he literally had over nine-tenths of the school under his tight control.

Nobody wanted to know how exactly he knew about nearly every little detail in everyone's lives.

But Tamaki, he wasn't supposed to be this smart. It defied all logic.

Then again, Tamaki proved to be pretty good at the defying logic part, time and time again. (Only last week he was spotted, begging Haruhi to wear the French maid uniform he got him. What was with him always trying to get Haruhi into women's clothing? How degrading for a male to be dressed as a French maid…)

His grades were just as good as her own, only that he seemed to receive them in far greater ease than her. However, it was his way with the wand that was truly something.

Tamaki's Charms were his greatest asset, as anybody would agree.

As of late, she was putting even more effort into her studies, but it still wasn't enough. She was starting to neglect other things in the process, like eating, sleeping, bathing…okay, so she maybe wasn't neglecting bathing.

As Hermione finally completed her essay (only four inches longer than the minimum, to her dismay), Ron slid into the seat next to her, looking rather worried. "Merlin, I forgot to start Professor Flitwick's essay…"

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Ron, please don't tell me you're still reading that perverted series."

Ron's ears turned red, confirming that he was still into _Love Hina_, but he quickly changed the subject by asking, "Hey Hermione, can I look at your essay?"

She crossed her arms. "Ron, you really have to do these things on your own."

Ron grumbled, but he quickly lit up when he spotted Tamaki's name on the essay lying across the desk. Hermione caught on quickly and felt her temper rising. Whether it was due to her indignation that Ron would rather copy another's essay or to her indignation that Ron would rather copy Tamaki's essay rather than badgering her on for her own…

Hermione pulled Ron by one of his red ears. Ron let out a yelp of pain. Hikaru and Kaoru, looking up from a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes catalog, grinned at each other.

"Doesn't Hermione-senpai remind you a bit of Jounochi Ayame-senpai, Kaoru?" Hikaru asked, referring to a girl back at Ouran who had had a fixated obsession with studying and beating Tamaki at studying.

"So I'm guessing she needs the same treatment, right Hikaru?" Kaoru asked back.

The twins nodded to each other and promptly strolled over to Hermione. They both grabbed one arm each, earning them a squawk of surprise, and yanked her to her feet.

"What are you guys doing?" Ron demanded.

"Hermione-senpai needs to relax a bit, so we're going to give her a makeover!" Hikaru chimed. Hermione let out another squawk.

"Don't worry; we're professionals," Kaoru assured her and everybody else as he and his brother dragged her out of the portrait hole.

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The next day, everybody was certainly impressed with Hermione's new look. Her hair was trimmed a little and still curly, but it had a shine to it and framed her slightly blushing face prettily. It wasn't the elegance that was the style she had for the Yule Ball two years back, but it was still beautiful and still her.

"You look…nice," Ron said awkwardly as she took her seat for breakfast.

"Thanks," she replied, her face still pink and her smile sheepishly pleased.

"You like it?" Hikaru and Kaoru asked simultaneously, both looking mighty pleased with themselves.

"It was actually very relaxing," she admitted.

"We all need to relax once in awhile," Hikaru said cheerfully. "Too much stress isn't healthy, you know."

"Which is why Harry-senpai is our next client," Kaoru added.

Harry tried to shrink into his seat, not sure why he was so frightened.


	11. Conclusion?

In an endless expanse of nothingness, where there was only whiteness as far as one could see, a tall, teenage girl wearing glasses was sitting at a desk, typing away at a computer. She looked up, grinned, and promptly broke the fourth wall like it didn't even exist.

"Hiya! I'm The Violent Tomboy, and this is the inside of my head. And the only reason it's empty in here is because I shoved all my thoughts in that door over there so they wouldn't get it the way," she said cheerfully, pointing to the wooden door behind her.

"So anyways, I'm the writer of _Hogwarts Host Club_ and the bringer of bad news, 'cause this is the last chapter of this fanfiction."

She paused and drummed her fingers on her desk.

One.

Two.

Three.

"And now that I've given you time to voice the cries of disbelief and horror that I can't hear, in order to ease your pain, I bring you the Host Club, cosplaying as shinigami from _Bleach_!" The Tomboy announced, flourishing her arms towards the seven people that materialized out of nowhere next to her, each dressed in black robes with swords by their sides. Tamaki had on the captain's white cape while Kyouya had on the lieutenant's armband. The lieutenant in question took out his clipboard and began to write. The Tomboy scratched her head.

"Just like Nanao..." she muttered. Facing back towards the audience, she continued, "So anyways, I'm pretty much over with this story, but I thought it would be cruel to leave it off where it was. Harry did get a makeover..."

"His hair grew back out the next day!" Kaoru said indignantly.

"After all the hard work I put into it!" Hikaru added. Kaoru flinched, delicately placing his hand over his mouth.

"Oh, Hikaru, don't you mean our hard work?"

Hikaru promptly swept his twin in his arms, resting his head on top of his.

"Oh, Kaoru, forgive me for forgetting about you!"

"Hikaru!"

"Kaoru!"

A background of roses swept behind them. The Violent Tomboy blinked.

"Yup, there's something definitely wrong with my imagination."

"Continuing on, there's a couple things I wanted to add on to this story but won't really be able to write on. I did want to mention everybody's bloodlines, everybody being a pureblood except Tamaki and Haruhi, Tamaki being a half-blood due to his mother being a Muggle and does Haruhi count as being Muggle-born if her dad's a Muggle and her mom a Muggle-born too?"

"Does blood really matter at all?" Haruhi asked before adjusting her shinigami robes.

"Well, I wanted to add it in somewhere, it would've been interesting," The Tomboy answered her. "Other things I wanted to include were your friendship with Luna Lovegood, some classes, the Hitachiiin twins meeting the Weasley twins, and of course, this story taking place in the sixth year, the Death Eater siege on Hogwarts."

"It was a tough battle for the good guys, but lucky for them, Kyouya was in the building!" she said cheerfully, flicking a thumb towards lieutenant.

"I called my private police force."

"And as we all probably know, the time it takes to say an incantation is longer than the time it takes to pull a trigger," The Tomboy chimed.

"And the time it takes to pull a trigger is longer than the time it takes for Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai to take down a dozen Death Eaters," Hikaru added.

"Me and Takeshi took them down good!" Honey said happily, hugging Usa-chan closer to him. Mori grunted in reply.

"Yeah, pretty much the reason why I didn't add that in as an actual chapter was 'cause Dumbledore still dies and stuff and that's depressing," The Tomboy said. "I suck at angst."

"How the heck are you ever going to write that original fantasy of yours if you can't write anything but random humor?" Kaoru butt in. "You'll never get published."

"Shut up! I'm still working on developing the characters!" The Tomboy shot back, shaking a fist. "Give me time!"

She blinked when Hikaru was suddenly over her shoulder, taking a look at her computer screen. "They sound like Mary Sues."

The Violent Tomboy screamed as she desperately tried to cover the screen with her hands. "I _said_ I'm still developing them!"

"Now Hikaru! Kaoru! Stop harassing the author!" Tamaki commanded.

"Yes taichou!" the two saluted. The Tomboy lay her head on her keyboard.

"God, I can't win inside my own head."

Recollecting herself, The Tomboy went to her own fanfiction profile and clicked on the Favorites list.

"Continuing, I know I haven't update in like forever but I really wanted to wrap this up. I'm hoping to start on some more serious stuff in the future, and I'm trying to write up some _Furuba_ fics. I know a lot of you out there like a good casual crack fic as much as me, so check out my Favorites list for more funny_ Ouran_ and _Harry Potter_ stories. I mean individually, not crossovers," The Tomboy said. "I personally recommend _Almost a Squib_ by BajaB, a story which shows what Harry's life and adventures would've been like if he had on magic but common sense instead. And it's amazing to see how much easier his life would've been."

"HEY!" Tamaki's voice rang shrilly in her ear, causing her to shriek and flinch in shock. "Why are the only romance stories in your_ Ouran_ favorites are ones where Kyouya is with my darling daughter!"

The Tomboy shrugged. "Well, most fanfiction on this site are utter crap and the few Ouran romances that I find to be well-written just happen to be ones where Haruhi's paired up with Kyouya."

Tamaki bawled out. The Tomboy stuck her fingers in her ears and attempted to make her voice heard over his.

"I HAD A LOT OF FUN WITH THIS STORY! THANKS FOR STICKING WITH IT FOR WHO KNOWS HOW LONG! HAVE A NICE LIFE!"

--

The end.

No serious, it is.


End file.
